I generally organise an "orchid sitter" when I go away - a few quick pointers, and a written list of instructions, and away I go! Such people are generally paid either actual money, or in lavish souvenirs (or both). If you're worried about black widows (and they're that big a problem in SD) then I imagine a vacation in a greenhouse would get the pots "infested" anyway. You may be better off moving them all into the bathtub and hooking up an automated watering system if you really can't "phone a friend".
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