The joke thread

[No-Pro-mwa]

And she say's........Right answer.

[Paphluvr]

I've noticed lately when I use the words "I", "oh", "you", or "why" my wife gets upset. I mentioned it to my doctor the last time I was in.

He said he thinks she may be suffering from "Irritable Vowel Syndrome".

[rbarata]

Well, it seems we're on the mood for marriage jokes...

It’s been raining for days now and my wife seems very depressed by it.
She keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let her in.

[No-Pro-mwa]

Originally Posted by rbarata

Well, it seems we're on the mood for marriage jokes...

It’s been raining for days now and my wife seems very depressed by it.
She keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let her in.

[estación seca]

Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake, Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer.

She asked him for some money, but he told her, "Nah, just put it on our tab. Old man Stacey won't mind."

So Sandra, being the good wife and Alan's true love, walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove.

When she got home with the items she said, "Alan, you always tell me not to run up the tab at Stacey's store. Why didn't you just give me some money?"

Alan replied, "Well, Sandra, I didn't want to send you out there with cash when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was!"

[rbarata]

Alan's true love.

---------- Post added at 11:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:59 PM ----------

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha**! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

[estación seca]

A couple was dining in a Chinese restaurant. When the bill came, with two fortune cookies, the woman asked the man what his said. He wouldn't tell her. She insisted he give her his fortune. He replied, "You already have my fortune."

[rbarata]

Nice one!

Another on the same subject...

A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.

[jcec1]

Bob dies and goes up to heaven. At the Pearly Gates he meets St. Peter.
St. Peter says to Bob "Spell who"
Bob "W-H-O, why did you ask me that?"
St. Peter "Oh there's a spelling test to get into heaven"
A few years later St. Peter asks Bob to look after the Pearly Gates for a few hours "You remember the test?" Bob is waiting at the gates, and up comes his wife.
Bob to his wife "Spell Czechoslovakia"

[rbarata]

---------- Post added at 09:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:45 PM ----------