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  #81  
Old 10-11-2007, 02:36 PM
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Tindomul Tindomul is offline
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"We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"

Goblin Market
by Christina Georgina Rossetti
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  #82  
Old 10-11-2007, 03:04 PM
Ross Ross is offline
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Now that's funny!
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  #83  
Old 11-07-2007, 10:53 AM
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AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it but first I'll check my e-mail....

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  #84  
Old 11-07-2007, 01:16 PM
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds kinda like me a work. Ahhhh!!!!!!
I go to put out sheep hearts for dissection, but first I have to make a phone call to one of the professors, after wards I go to another class room to replenish the lab and meet another professor on the way, he needs to get into the copy room, I let him in, and then I remember to put the hearts out, I go down stairs see the hearts left over from the last class and start taking them to the stock room. Then I see the room needs more paper towels and gloves, I go upstairs to find some and remember I didn't replenish the lab up here. I start doing that and student asks for help with something, I spend the next 20 mins helping the student and non of my work has been done.
Oh Boy!!!
I used to be more organized.
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"We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"

Goblin Market
by Christina Georgina Rossetti
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  #85  
Old 11-08-2007, 12:04 PM
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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

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  #86  
Old 11-08-2007, 01:04 PM
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ROFL!!!!!
That's priceless!
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  #87  
Old 11-08-2007, 02:06 PM
Ross Ross is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

I expect nothing less out of you or your Dad (whom I've never met)
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  #88  
Old 11-08-2007, 02:12 PM
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I am sure that story was true of someone .. but it wasn't of my dad .. although now he has a great comeback if the situation should arise .. he was hysterical after he read it.
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  #89  
Old 11-08-2007, 04:41 PM
puddin puddin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

OK, I'm a little lost. Did this really happen to your dad, or was this made up? By the way, what better comeback could he have that is better than this?!

Last edited by puddin; 11-08-2007 at 04:47 PM..
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  #90  
Old 11-08-2007, 06:20 PM
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I got it from my sister - I believe she got it from someone she works with who got it off the internet.
Exactly .. there is no better comeback ..
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