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  #591  
Old 02-17-2009, 07:03 PM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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  #592  
Old 02-17-2009, 07:34 PM
IdahoOrchid IdahoOrchid is offline
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As heard on "Who's Line":

Wives live longer than husbands because they are not married to women.

As heard from my wife:

That's true!!!!
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  #593  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorothy View Post
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with nothing on but saran wrap for underwear ..
The psychiatrist say ..
I clearly see your nuts ...

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  #594  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb977 View Post
This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you
remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK, he says, 'How about taking a stroll around
there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,"Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence"

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  #595  
Old 02-17-2009, 10:58 PM
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Roy Roy is offline
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The joke thread Male
Default Girls please excuse

THOSE BLONDES ARE AT IT AGAIN

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
House. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing
Those nails away?'

Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them
Have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
Defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
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  #596  
Old 02-20-2009, 06:31 AM
thakshila smith thakshila smith is offline
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Sue .Old couple is too much naughty.

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  #597  
Old 02-20-2009, 07:23 AM
Dorothy Dorothy is offline
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I have to remember to find an electric fence when my love life gets boring -

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  #598  
Old 02-20-2009, 03:25 PM
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camille1585 camille1585 is offline
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That's too funny Roy!!! I love blonde jokes!
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  #599  
Old 02-20-2009, 03:27 PM
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camille1585 camille1585 is offline
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I recieved this joke in an email today. I found it funny enough to translate it from french for you guys to enjoy!


There once was a man who had worked hard all his life and had a large amount of money that he was stingy about. He loved his money more than anything, and when he was at the hospital dying he told his wife something very important: “When I die, I want you to put all of my money in the coffin with me. It will be for my life after death.” The wife very reluctantly swore that she would do as he wished.

Not long after that the husband died.
At the ceremony he was laid was laid out in his casket for viewing, and his family and few close friends where there. The lid was about to be closed and the wife shouted “wait a minute!!” She took a box out of her bag and laid it besides her dead husband’s body.

At the end of the funeral one of her friends asked “I sure hope that that box you put in wasn’t what he asked for!” The wife looked at her friend and told him “ I am a good Christian woman and I would never break the promise to my husband to bury him with his money, I did as he wished”.

After a few seconds of silence, she added: “ so I wrote him a check!”
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  #600  
Old 02-20-2009, 03:44 PM
kavanaru kavanaru is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bird Song Farm View Post
Oh Lord, she's backkkkkkkkkk

Al
how true.....
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