The joke thread

[kavanaru]

For those who always make jokes about rednecks and blondes... a lection to be learn


Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive Blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play Topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, Baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down, and squealed..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers. Then she picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."


Moral --- Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men..... are men...

[camille1585]

Finally a blonde joke where the blonde is actually not so dumb! Although in real life that would never happen with the hundreds of security cameras everywhere!

[cb977]

That was too funny, Ramon!!!
I emailed it to lots of my friends!

[cb977]

Laura sent this to me in an email today

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs, and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Kentucky .

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
'I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have
to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work, and in the community, and from reaching
our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the
name of humor!'

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blond yells,
'You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!'

[flhiker]

Hi all, these made me chuckle and thought you might like them to.

[GreggC]

Do you know what has brown hair and lays in a ditch?

The last brunette that told a blonde joke.

[GreggC]

and her lover were in bed and having fun, when she heard the lock on the door start to turn. She said, "It's my husband. Quick, jump out the window!" Her lover said,"But we're on the thirteenth floor!" She replied, "This is no time to get superstitious, jump!"

[cb977]

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[cb977]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied

[Chubidubi]

NOW THOSE WERE FUNNY!!!!!!!!