The joke thread

[GreggC]

maybe next time.

[jim blanford]

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound, the young women pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.
The Others looked at her questioningly,"that was my pager" she said? I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young women lifted her plam to her ear, when she finished, she explained,
that was my mobile phone, I have a microchip in my hand.
The older women felt very low-tech, not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as impressive, she stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end?
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her, the older womem finally said....... well, will you look at that... I'm getting a fax!!

[Graehstone]

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way
before."

The other nun whispers, " It's the cobblestones."

[Graehstone]

" You Know You're In California When...... "

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
11. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2003."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
21. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. You AND your dog have therapists.

[cb977]

Those are FUNNY!!!

[Ross]

Originally Posted by Graehstone

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way
before."

The other nun whispers, " It's the cobblestones."

OK now, wait just a minute! Would you tell this one to your 14-year old grandson? Eh?

[Graehstone]

Originally Posted by rsfrid

OK now, wait just a minute! Would you tell this one to your 14-year old grandson? Eh?

Yes, I would. But if management thinks that it is "inappropriate" then please feel free to remove it.
But then again the wife and I have gone "skinny dipping" with my In laws when they were here for a visit where as most of you would have a coniption if you even had to think about doing that, lol.
No offense meant and certainly didn't want to ruffle any feathers.

[flhiker]

At long last, my friends, this picture unquestionably answers the question we've all been hearing and asking about for many years!!


The answer is........'Yes'

[puddin]

Originally Posted by Graehstone

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way
before."

The other nun whispers, " It's the cobblestones."

Please forgive my stupidity, but I don't get it. If you have to, PM me.

[GreggC]